i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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