I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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