the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize