Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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