How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
