THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
