so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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