At least make sure they are 18
Why
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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