He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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