she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
