youre lurking in front of me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
