my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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