and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
