it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
