Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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