is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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