hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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