My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
