so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
