M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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