My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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