Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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