Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
