The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
