they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
