did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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