I'm eating all of the evidence.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
