Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
