I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
