So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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