All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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