Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
