Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
