If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
