all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
