He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
