her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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