I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize