I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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