if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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