I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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