I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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