well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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