cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
