Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
