So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
