HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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