I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
