that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
