the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
