Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.

Fav 19 1869 5124
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(850): View more from Florida

it's great music for shaving your balls

Fav 25 4162 2046
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

Fav 22 5940 1331
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(562): View more from California

youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.

Fav 10 3317 1302
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(443): View more from Maryland

He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.

Fav 12 3734 1433
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(510): View more from California

I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard

(1-510): View more from California

Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.

Fav 5 2816 1174
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(770): View more from Georgia

We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.

Fav 2 1756 720
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....

Fav 7 676 194
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.

Fav 0 79 4
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