Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
he high fived his dick after we had sex
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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