he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize