ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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