he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
