You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
