Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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