woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
