You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
