I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
