i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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