is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
