Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
