Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
